After getting my “mojo” kicked the eff out of me and a hell of a wake-up call, I decided to take time away from everything and spend some time with ME… that and my fractured toe didn’t offer me much choice. There is nothing like being forced to stay off your feet, and then having some sh*t throw you off track mentally, spiritually and emotionally… I was totally f*cked. There I was, rock bottom with no desire to get back up… no matter how many pep talks I gave myself or received from the few people that had access to me; nothing was helping. I was mad at myself for letting my situation get the better of me, and even more pissed that I had no idea how to come out of it. I tried to pray but didn’t know what to say… Under normal circumstances I would exercise like a maniac to help me “process” but seeing as I was ordered to stay off my feet, that wasn’t happening. I was completely outta sync and sinking… Mind, body and soul.L
I eventually got sick of drowning myself in my sorrows, and decided to figure my sh*t out. The way I saw it; when you’re at rock bottom there’s only one place to go and that’s up… “Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul.”- Oscar Wilde. My soul AND senses definitely needed some curing. So I took a first class trip to my soul… it sounds a little cheesy lol, but I realized that I had to start healing from the inside-out, before I could do anything else. During my “soul search” I was able to discover A LOT about myself, the people in my life, as well as reconnect with other things that I had somehow let become dormant… We’re quick to advise people to “get up and dust their shoulders off” when they encounter obstacles, but I think we forget just how much easier it is said, than done. I forgot how much easier it is said, than done… but I also learned that sometimes it’s okay to be down. Sometimes there is nothing you can do. We live in a world of quick fixes, temporary quick fixes; but there are no quick fixes for broken/fractured/bruised souls.
I’ve learned that rock bottom is a great place for self-discovery and if you take a moment and really assess whatever’s wrong or got you down; you may just see the blessing hidden in it all. Again, easier said than done, but I believe it’s always worth a try; sometimes losing your way, means finding yourself… Life/People will let and get you down; ultimately, it’s your decision to keep going.
“Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragement, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak”- Thomas CarlyleI’m still searching, learning and discovering. For those of you going through some sh*t, no matter how big or small, my advice to you is get in touch with you, hang in there and take it one day at a time, BUT KEEP GOING
J. “There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul”- Ella Wheeler Wilcox Stay blessed,
♥Bella♥
Happy March!
