I’m usually not a big Beyonce fan but I love this song. It resonates so much with me and the people I know. Do you believe, what goes around comes back around???
I can’t count how many times people have asked me, “Can you be just friends with someone you’re sleeping with?” My answer is a solid ‘no.’ What kind of friend limits your chill-time to a few hours in the bedroom? You’re not really friends if you’re sharing only one part of your life. There are no lines drawn in friendships. You’re in a full-fledged relationship once you jump in the sheets. Admit it, already!
Justin Timberlake is definitely one of the biggest players in the game. From Britney Spears, Jessica Biel, Olivia Wilde and Cameron Diaz, he’s got some experiences to share. The most common problem is choosing the wrong person to make this deal with. “It’s a really good idea until it becomes a bad idea. It probably becomes a bad idea really fast,” he said on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. When both parties are hurting from a past relationship, you immediately bring in negative energy to your current situation. As they say, two wrongs don’t make a right. It’s like planting an evil seed — not good!
Justin believes that you’re bound to catch feelings when you get sexually involved. “I think that everybody could probably agree with us when we say, that if you’re going to be intimate with someone at some point somebody’s going to feel something.” But if you knowingly choose someone you can’t see a future with, you won’t ever treat it like a real relationship. You let him get away with things you never would if you were actually his girlfriend.
You play it cool and that’s when things get messy. No cuddles, no sweet words, no nothing. Of course, that never works — who ever follows the rules? You lie, he lies. You fake it, he fakes it. This goes on until you’re completely lost in the unknown. You want what you can’t have. You end up seeing another side of someone because you’re living in this fantasy world. In real life it would never work out! You want different things outside of a purely sexual relationship. This is only one piece of the puzzle! So then what? How do you take that chemistry outside of the bedroom? Well, now you’re asking for too much…
We all make mistakes. Sometimes we choose the wrong people to take home. If you still want to be friends after having sex with someone you have to be prepared to ruin the one thing your entire relationship was based on. Take out everything sexy about sex and you’ll be able to remain friends. “I’ll never forget when Justin had to be on top of me with his right hand on my left pasty and his left hand on my right pasty—my feet were getting numb, and I think his hands were giving out on him. It was a workout,” Mila Kunis told Vanity Fair. Embarrassment is key to killing all intimate moments. When sex gets awkward or frustrating, you write it out completely because you’re too ashamed to try again. Only now can you two go outside and play (like what normal friends do!). Get to know each other on a completely platonic level and your feelings will change — hopefully. I don’t promise anything.
Friends With Benefits will probably be one of the most sex-filled Hollywood rom-coms ever (most importantly, we get to see a lot of Justin’s ass)! In theaters July 22nd — will you check it out?
Whether you’re celebrating July 1st or July 4th, I hope you’re enjoying your long weekend with great company. But I’m sure that not everyone gets to run out of the city and chill at the cottage. If you’re like Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson (or Yvonne Kai, soldiering it out in NYC) and spending an awesome weekend apart from your boo, here are some ways to deal:
1. Host A Party: To keep your mind away from your personal life, busy yourself as the host for your family or friends. It keeps the focus away from you and you get to surround yourself around people you love.
2. Get Some Fresh Air: Whatever you do, don’t stay home. Take a walk and enjoy the great weather this weekend and talk to some strangers! Who knows, you might meet your next best friend.
3. Grab A Bite: Take yourself out of the ‘cooking for two’ mentality and indulge in some street food! Who cares about getting bloated, no one (important) is going to see it!
4. Do Some Exercise: Spend some time working on yourself — although you might not have chosen to have all this space, make the best of it and give yourself some TLC. You’ll also feel super sexy when you reunite with your special someone!
The trick isn’t to make yourself so busy you can’t think about your lover. You end up burning out and all you end up thinking about is what you could have done instead of the mindless activities you busied yourself with all weekend. Take some time to yourself for a change and embrace being alone. It’s not all that bad!
How would you spend the long weekend alone?
Aaliyah may say ‘Age Ain’t Nothing But Number,’ but I think it means almost everything. You’re not going to trust a 12-year old to stay home alone so you’ll get a baby-sitter that’s at least 18. It’s just the way things are.
It’s so weird how women make such a big deal about dating younger men, like it’s so terribly wrong or something. They have less baggage, are so much more into you and try a lot harder, but they’ll never be a man to you. Boys will be boys.
So why would you think a man doesn’t think the same way about you? Sure, you may be more mature for your age, but don’t think that this man ultimately wants to marry you. You’re not in his radar. You’re just a girl. It’s just a bonus that you have brains, although the girl beside you has tits and the other girl across the room has ass… so it’s only a matter of time before he moves on to the good stuff.
Whether you’re like Gossip Girl‘s Serena Van Der Woodsen (Blake Lively) falling for the one guy that looks at you differently because you connect on another level, your lack of experience will be your downfall. Age may just be a number, but the number on your bed stand is a more legitimate way of determining how compatible you are with someone else.
You can be 25 with only one relationship from high school under your belt, or you can be 21 with over 30 lovers. Your age can determine your mentality with general life but your romantic life is governed by the number of people you’ve been intimately involved with. Think about it — it changes everything.
So what do you think, is age just a number?
Of course Bree Van De Kamp (Marcia Cross) can’t be bothered to go on a date without knowing absolutely everything about this mystery man that randomly came into her life. Are you the same way?
If you’re a curious cat like me, you’re going to want to know certain details. Like if he’s been married, if he’s still married. The best part is adding guys on Facebook and realizing he’s ‘in a relationship’ with someone else and has pictures of them together all over his profile. Real smooth. Saves me the time of figuring that out over dinner next week!
I don’t know about you, but I feel like a simple Google check just solidifies a person. Makes him human in a way. If there was absolutely no information on ‘John Smith,’ you might not feel too safe going out with him. Just a thought.
In Bree’s case, she just wanted to know some dirt. How far are you going to go in your background check? I still don’t know what I want to know yet. Sometimes I want to know everything so there are no surprises and I get exactly what I’m asking for. But other times I wish I didn’t know anything so I could find it out my own way.
The only real problem I have with Googling a potential date is you’re taking away the job of the Wingman. What’s he supposed to do now if you’re just giving up everything for free on the world wide web? Of course you can’t find everything online, but you’ll get a good chunk. I think men are still just as secretive if not more than ever now and they don’t want to see their girls posting up every picture and checking in to every spot they visit. Is there really something wrong with that?
No wonder I’m still single. So what about you — would you Google him?
We have a guestblogger from BodyNoise for the month of May for Sentimental Sundays. Give us your feedback and tell Amanda your two cents about love, lust and life.
Do you ever find yourself connecting really well with someone that you just want to like, rip his head apart and pick at his brain? But instead, somehow you’re both in bed and after the deed is done someone ends up falling asleep and that whole ‘talking for hours’ thing never happens. So what was the point?
Remember when you were a virgin (kudos to you if you still are), and you would spend hours on the phone with someone talking about everything and anything that came to mind? Those were relationships that lasted. Not these little ‘oh you’re cool, let’s get it on’ situations. More often than not, we’re too busy to bother getting to know you or ourselves anymore. Life doesn’t allow for it. We can’t slow down. We have to keep moving. And that means we have to move on, over and over again. Hello tonight, good-bye tomorrow.
Today we just want one thing to get carried away about and we’re quite happy. We settle for everything – a house that’s affordable, a job that’s consistent, a lover that doesn’t complain too much. I always told myself not to expect a lot because you’ll always be disappointed. But if you have no expectations at all, you’ll find yourself taking anything that comes your way. It gets a little dangerous when you don’t prioritize things. Will you take the first apartment that goes for rent? Will you take the first job that calls you back? Will you take the guy that said you looked pretty today? It’s better than nothing, right?
Wrong? I don’t know anymore. You can have the highest expectations and get the greatest things in life, but still feel equally empty after it all. Sometimes I think you need to settle just so you know what you really deserve. You might realize that your relationship might be more valuable than you think. You may be settling, but it did put a roof over your head, no matter how many times you had to fix up the shackles.
Would you settle?